


Inverted Reflections

by ParadisiaDarkly



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: F/M, Loki Magicks, Mental Health Facility, Mind Games, Mindfreak, Moderate-Graphic Language, Moderate-Graphic Sexual Content, Violence, institutionalization
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-11-23
Updated: 2013-08-30
Packaged: 2017-11-19 08:24:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/571194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ParadisiaDarkly/pseuds/ParadisiaDarkly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Delia Simon is being watched by Loki. Loki finds Delia Simon useful. SHIELD makes itself known to Ms. Simon and a normal, studious, comfortable life is rattled with near reckless abandon.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue: Contact

Inverted Reflections

Prologue

_Contact_

When I think back now, I can recall the very first time Loki, God of Mischief, ever made contact with me. I was walking home alone one afternoon. I had just left work at the boutique. There was a new crispness in the air as the seasons were finally changing from summer to fall. A few other people littered the streets, but it was mostly empty. I made my way quickly down the street and turned down the alley shortcut to my home. The streets were empty at the moment, but in another half hour they would be packed and I wanted to be cocooned in my blankets and lazing with my cat before then.

Stopping just short of the corner, I whipped around. I was sure I had heard my name being called, but there was nothing and no one behind me. I shrugged. I turned back. I lifted one foot to take a step. I lifted the other in turn, but I felt a tug and my stride stopped short. I stumbled forward, but managed to correct myself before falling. I knelt down looking at my undone lace in wonder _. Hadn’t I just glanced at it? Wasn’t I laced up good and proper? Oh well. No matter_. I finished off the bow and stood. The second before I stepped out of the shadow of the alley, I heard a voice in my head that was like mine, but strangely off-putting. “You kneel so nicely,” it told me. _What had made me think that?_ I chuckled to myself and rounded the corner. 

I soon all but forgot about my unexpected stop. I went home to my cat, Crixus, and settled in for a night of research and TV and Chinese delivery. I ate and made ready to jump into the shower and stopped in the kitchen to scoop Crixus his own dinner. He pounced happily toward his bowl and bowed his face into it hungrily. I grinned at him and rubbed his head. “You kneel so nicely, cat, you know that?” I said aloud.

_You kneel so nicely…_

I wonder now how the God of Tricks had no qualm with being so obvious.


	2. Regular Schedule, More or Less

**Inverted Reflections**

**Chapter 1**

_Regular Schedule, More or Less_

After that afternoon, things went on just as they had for the past year and a half. If I had had any of my old grand ambition, it may have been utterly boring, but as things stood I was happy enough. Only eighteen months ago, I had been in school working on my Master of Arts degree. I didn’t think I had been pushing myself any harder than necessary until one morning I couldn’t focus enough to brush my teeth. It was then that I realized I had to take a step back. I had to quit. I thought it would be hard; I thought I would be lost and unhappy and disappointed in myself. As it turned out, it was the easiest thing I had ever done. After I left school, I quit work at the art gallery I was employed at as the junior gallery assistant. Everyone told me not to quit since it held so much promise. In nine months time I could have been promoted to senior assistant and another year after that assistant director. But I couldn’t stomach it knowing my persistence at school and work was costing me my sanity. I found a job instead at a funky little boutique that an old acquaintance of mine owned and moved to a slightly calmer corner of the city. I sometimes wondered if I’d ever find my old motivation, but for the time simply living was enough.

There was a small bit of schooling that I just couldn’t let go of--My thesis. I worked on it (admittedly in secret) almost constantly. Editing, researching, and frankly, piddling with it was always on my schedule. It was like I wanted to prove to myself that I was _not done yet, see?!_

It wasn’t until several weeks after the first incident that I even noticed anything was really off kilter. In the beginning it was little things-misplacing pens or keys, forgetting cat food when I went out specifically for it-that it’s hard to tell if I was being worked on or just scatterbrained. It moved on to bigger things like leaving my keys in the back lock at work and forgetting where I left the deposit to take to the bank. By the time I realized something was actually wrong, my friends and family were asking how I was and what they could do to help.

I did know for certain that the voice in the alley wasn’t a fluke several weeks later while I was sitting with Julie in the boutique. She and I had known each other for years, but after she hired me we became fast friends. I could never believe my luck, really. You were supposed to hate the jobs you worked to make ends meet. We were at the back counter, talking while I worked on a few commissioned pieces of jewelry. In addition to all the funky clothes, and home décor, and accessories, and adult novelties, and kitchen gadgets, Julie let me sell my handmade jewelry to a very handsome profit, only charging me a mediocre fee for their housing and display. It started off as a hobby, but I found a surprising talent in it.

“So, Deels, my date with Michael last night.”

“Mmhmm?” I inquired, with a knowing grin plastered on my face.

“It was…amazing. He was just…great.” Julie grinned.

“I know! You told me all about it last night when you called. Remember?”

“I didn’t call you, Delia. I was going to, but it was too late when I got back in.” She stared at me, perplexed.  

“Yeah, you did. You told me all about Michael and how well you two hit it off!” I made a big-eyed kissy face at her.

“Well, yeah, but I know I didn’t call you last night. Look! Check your phone.” She pulled her phone out and it showed no record of her dialing me. I furrowed my brow and looked on mine to discover nothing in my call logs either. I was quiet for a moment as I recalled the night before _. I pulled my hair back because I was getting ready to wash my face and go to bed. The phone rang and it was Julie. But what had she told me? Michael and her date… But where had they gone? What did they do? I couldn’t remember._

“I…guess I must have dreamt it, Jules.” I explained lamely, “I don’t know. I had some drinks last night, maybe I’m just fuzzy.” 

Julie stared at me for a second and smiled. “You need to get out, Delia!” she laughed, “But, my gosh, this man!”

She continued to recount her evening to me and her excitement made me forget my confusion and in no time I was smiling and gushing along with her. I was so caught up in her story that I dropped my pliers and a handful of beads. I hopped off my stool and bent over to retrieve them and nearly jumped to hear a voice in my head, again like my own but becoming more masculine and menacing. “Kneeling again and I didn’t even ask.” It teased at me. I grabbed my supplies and stood back up, attempting to appear unaffected. Shortly after, Julie had to help a customer, so I quickly finished and packed up. A steady flow of customers were coming through and the other sales associates had shown up, so I clocked out.

“See you Monday!” I called over my shoulder as I headed out the door, “Call me if anything…develops.” 

“Har har! You try not to drink yourself into a stupor until then!”

“No promises!” I left quickly, all but running down the street. I turned and rested against the cool brick of the building on the corner and breathed evenly, purposefully.

“Don’t be afraid.” The pseudo-familiar voice told me.

“Don’t be afraid.” I told myself.

 

I stopped all work on my thesis. I was afraid that the continued focus on the thing that initially burned me out was coming again to fry my brain. I cut down on hours at work to just what was necessary. When Julie asked why, I lamely and completely off-the-cuff explained that I wanted to take up photography. She laughed at me immediately, but consented. She was used to my mood driven decision making by now and she had plenty of help at the store. She did make me promise to go out with her once a week, so I could see something besides my apartment, the boutique, and whatever I would be, she crooked her fingers like quotation marks, “photographing.” 

I did keep my promise to go out with her weekly. Sometimes it was just she and I, or us and some mutual friends, and then one week she asked if I wanted to meet Michael. They were getting along quite well and very close, Julie was sure, to being exclusive. I said yes immediately. She asked if I wanted her to bring a male companion for me, but I refused. I couldn’t possibly play blind date while interrogating this man of hers, I said.

The night came and I was peering in my closet at my sizeable selection of attire. We had decided to go for dinner and drinks at this comfortable, but lively tavern several blocks away from Julie’s place. It was friendly and unpretentious with enough noise to be able to talk without disturbing or being disturbed. I decided my goal for dressing would be “polished casual” and pulled a few items out of my closet. I dressed and finished my make-up and hair then stepped in front of my full length mirror to make sure everything was in place.

I wore a three-quarter length sleeve top, red and scoop-necked, slim fitting jeans in a dark, inky blue wash and black ballet flats. A very simple necklace, slim, silver chain with a spherical diamond pendant, was all I bothered with for adornment. I was going out for Julie not for a pick-up. I carefully looked myself over. My hair, in all its not-quite-mousy-not-quite-rich light brown glory, hung in natural waves several inches above my shoulders. I had parted it deeply on the side and pinned the sides back with bobby pins. My face beamed back at me, round and pert, with my not-quite-sandy-not-quite-porcelain complexion and large doe-shaped, hazel eyes. I smiled at myself remembering the old joke that with all of my fair coloring, I looked like someone had left a thin coat of whitewash on me _. Ah well_ , I thought, _this is fine enough_. I glanced quickly at my body, average height and slim, with proportionate, yet decidedly rounded curves. I turned to check the time and pick up my purse and stopped cold upon hearing that teasing voice again. “Quite lovely. For a daughter of Midgard.” 

“Who’s there!” I demanded. There was no sign of anyone but me and Crixus who was asleep on top of my pillow. I whipped my head around and looked in the mirror, entirely unprepared for what I saw next. A ghost of a face, pale with dark hair, a menacing smirk, and haughty brow. I screamed and turned back searching for the source of the reflection. “Who’s there, damn it!?” I yelled. _Christ, Delia, maybe don’t provoke the intruder_ , I thought to myself. I struggled to stay calm. Scanning my apartment again, I saw no movement or sign of an actual person. Shaking, I stepped quickly to my bed and sat, wrapping my arms around my mid-section _. Why am I hearing things? Why am I seeing things? What is wrong with me?_ I screamed in my head. _Monday morning_ , I decided _, I am calling the doctor. This just can’t go on_.

After a moment, I grabbed my purse and walked quickly past the mirror without looking in it. I went down to the street and hailed a cab in record time. On the drive to the tavern, I tried to focus on the evening ahead of me _. Drinks, Delia…There’ll be drinks. …What in the holy hell is a ‘Midgard’?_

The following Monday, I floundered. I dug up the business card to the therapist I saw after initially leaving school. It had been some months since I’d seen or spoken with her, but she told to not hesitate to call her if I needed. I stared down at the number and at the phone in my hand, sighed and started to dial, but was interrupted by a loud crash. My eyes shot up to see one of my most prized possessions, a carved crystal unicorn given to me by my parents on my tenth birthday, on the floor directly in front of the mirror. I nearly screamed as I jumped toward it. I had begged my parents for months for it and they finally acquiesced, with wary looks on their faces. It was purchased in lieu of any other toys, books, or art supplies I may have wanted as it was a sizeable expense. They were scared I’d regret getting something that I couldn’t play with, but as I unwrapped it, I was filled with a kind of joy that I had not, in my short life, known. It was so beautiful. My own personal treasure. My hands were shaking as I reached to pick it up. I was sure it was broken beyond repair, but when I picked it up gingerly I was shocked to find it all in one piece. It had just fallen five and a half feet to the hardwood floor. _How?_ _Crixus, he must have run off when it crashed._ _But how wasn’t it broken?_ There weren’t words to describe my relief.

Standing carefully, prize in hand, I looked up and caught my reflection—me looking as fragile as the crystal figure as I cupped it in my hands and a pair of arms wrapped around me. I didn’t even jump this time, quite sure it was only my imagination. And while the arms must have belonged to that menacing face and voice that had been plaguing me, I felt warm and comforted. I stood and placed the figure back on its shelf. I muttered a thank you to whatever force had saved it. As I walked back to my desk, I felt a lock of my hair pick up and twist gently. It was so gentle it hardly registered in my mind as was the voice that followed, too soft and low to excite me, “Of course.”

I paced the floor slowly back to my desk and looked down at the card. I shook my head and tossed it back into the drawer I found it in. I wasn’t sure what had stayed my hand, but I suddenly felt I didn’t need to speak with anyone or have anything explained to me. I was fine. Utterly fine.

 

The next few days were quiet and normal. I worked and did a lot of lounging with Crixus. He seemed to be much calmer which was a relief to me. Before the incident with the unicorn, he’d been agitated. He didn’t want to sit with me and he hissed incessantly at what seemed to be nothing. I wrote it off as my nerves rubbing off on him during my seeing/hearing things stint. But now we both seemed much better. I was even thinking of upping my hours at work again.

Then one afternoon after an early shift, I came home and found myself piddling around on the computer. I checked my e-mail and my Facebook, glad to see my friends and family were all well. I rarely updated on mine, but I liked being able to catch up on my longer distanced friends lives at a glance. I opened a search engine to look up some information on a new style of wire wrap I wanted to try when I was suddenly struck with a flash of memory. Weeks ago, that voice had called me “daughter of Midgard.” I had no idea what or where or who a Midgard was, so I was perplexed as to how I could have imagined it. So I typed it into the search engine to see what, if anything, would come up.

In an instant, the search engine presented me with “approximately” seven million results. I was relieved to see that it was something real, but also disturbed knowing I hadn’t ever heard of it before. At least to my recollection. The search ‘Midgard’ applied to a software company and a plastics company, but those sorts of things didn’t have daughters. Or sons, for that matter. I scrolled. My eyes started to gloss over at the enormity of it all. There were clearly more than a few answers to be had, but I had no idea what question I was asking. Just before I exited my browser and shut the computer down completely, a small list of links labeled ‘related searches’ at the bottom of the page caught my eye. ‘Midgard Norse Mythology’ one read. _That looks promising._ I clicked the link and read on. _The abode of mankind? So, a daughter of earth basically…That makes sense, I guess,_ I thought to myself. 

An hour and a half later, I was absolutely enthralled. The paragraphs rolled on and I felt like I was rediscovering creation itself. There was so much that I hadn’t realized I hadn’t known and learning something I hadn’t forced myself (out of love) to memorize for years on end was invigorating. I got up to use the toilet and grab a quick snack from the kitchen and while I was up I remembered I was actually looking for a ‘what’ or a ‘who’. _Remember that voice, Delia? And that face? The feeling of dread and the bad dreams? Let’s investigate that_ , I jokingly chastised myself. A moment later, I located a section on the gods and goddesses of Norse mythology. I did know about Odin and Frigga and about Thor and his hammer, but there were plenty I didn’t know and even more that I didn’t know how to even pronounce their names. _Sorry, Norse Gods,_ I whispered each time I butchered a name. The names and attributes and powers and responsibilities of each were in a nice list and I went down each one deciding quickly whether or not it was him or her who had been pestering my mind. 

There was a chill breeze as I scrolled the page down and my eyes fell upon a name that I felt deep inside I knew already. Loki, God of tricks and mischief. I said his name aloud and was greeted by another breeze that chilled me to the bone. Slowly I looked up and saw that my window was closed and latched. I turned back to the computer and cautiously read on. There was the pressure and warmth of a person standing just over my shoulder as I took in the information. _Loki is a skilled magician and enjoys tricking his fellow gods and goddesses,_ I read silently to myself _, He always stands ready to resolve the problems he causes, but the price tends to engender even greater chaos. It has been said that he communicates through mirrors._ I stopped. I felt bile rise in my throat. I pushed myself away from my desk and stared at the computer monitor. _Why did I have to look? I was fine. I was finally fine. No, no, no._

“Say it again, won’t you?”

A voice. The voice. And this time it didn’t come entirely from my head. I lifted my face from my hands and stood. My legs moved seemingly of their own volition and I found myself again in front of my mirror where I saw not myself, but _him_ as clear as day.

“My name, _Cordelia_. Say it again.” He commanded, smiling in revelry at the effect his presence had over me.

My body trembled and my skin turned cold and tingled almost painfully. With some effort, I opened my mouth and took a deep breath before I spoke again, no louder than an accusatory whisper. 

“Loki.”


	3. Recognition and The Dangerous, Happy Lack Thereof

**Chapter 2**

_Recognition and the Dangerous, Happy Lack Thereof_

* * *

He looked at me, threw his head back and laughed. "Do try to be a little less dull, Cordelia." He chastised me as I stared at the mirror, my mouth agape in a mix of horror and amazement. I felt scared. I felt perplexed. I felt violated, belittled, and worst of all excited. In the deepest recesses of my mind, I welcomed the God of Tricks into my life.

A moment later I snapped back from my jumbled core of emotions. He just spoke to me again, I realized. Twice now he has said my name. My full name, my given name. Only the government and acquaintances call me by that. I've always loved my name, but since it was so often shortened it sounds almost cold and foreign when someone who doesn't know me says it _. But Loki knows me_ , I thought. The way he said it was so grossly personal, so wildly, completely possessive, he must certainly know me a great deal better than I know myself. I felt my face go slack and I looked up at him through the mirror, his eyes were level with mine.

"Are you going to invite me in, Daughter of Midgard? Or do you think to make me beg?"

I stepped back though my mind screamed at me to say no. for what little good it would do. My thoughts were burning red as I parted my lips to speak, not knowing how I managed words or why I felt the overwhelming desire to let him _in_.

"Please come in, Loki." I said meekly. His name sounded less foreign to me already. I stepped back even further and gasped softly as I watched him step through. A long leg extended out of the mirror and into my apartment, the second followed, his pelvis, chest and arms. When he stood before me, quite solidly, just as real as anything, my chest felt tight and my breath short. I had no idea what to do now, though I suspected that Loki did and would dictate as much. I felt my legs give way slightly and I held a hand lightly over my chest as I fell to the edge of the seat of my armchair. Loki turned at the waist side to side, surveying my small apartment, and nodded as if he were pleased. Or pleased enough, as though to say it would do. I watched him silently as he took long strides across the length of my living room.

"I've been watching you for some time, Cordelia. I think you may be of great assistance to me," he laughed lightly to himself then, "I do not typically make myself known to those I make use of, but you have been a source of great amusement to me." I listened as he paced, watching him fingering items on my shelves, glancing at book titles and my art. I looked up at him fully for the first time with no reservations for openly staring, though it may have been unwise.

He stood at least a foot taller than me, perhaps more. He was dressed strangely, I realized, strangely for Earth, at least. He wore what looked to be leather in green and black with the sheen of silver on detailed metalwork. Over his shoulders was a thick cape sitting in a comfortable, regal way. His skin was pale and almost sickly, but rather slightly porcelain. His hair was jet and combed away from his face. He was striking, the most beautiful man I'd ever seen. But he was also frightening. The sight of him brought to mind the oldest, simplest fears I had and tugged at all the dark imaginings I had ever put away at night. These things were placated by his eyes, at times beryl and others blue, almost glowing. I must have been losing my mind, to think anyone's eyes could change colors like that. They were menacing, but also laughing. He seemed to be silently laughing at some inner dialogue none could hope to hear. They laughed at his surroundings, at the world, at whatever was not of him, I realized. They were menacing and haughty, but delightful. He enjoyed this, frightening me or anyone. He enjoyed looking out at his world where he watched people move in an intricate dance that he himself devised. These things delighted him like a child at play.

I turned my head away and took a deep breath. My words seemed to be returning to me. I opened my mouth and spoke. "What would you have me do, Loki? How do you think _I_ could assist _you_?" I was surprised at my almost assertive tone. I felt almost audacious, although asking how I might serve was not the exact definition of audacity. He spun around as if he knew all along that I'd come to that very conclusion.

"I think," he said, his eyes gleaming, "I'd rather surprise you." And suddenly he was bent low and in front of me, catching my face in his hand. I gasped sharply. His skin felt cold. My eyes widened and I must have looked terrifies as his fingers slipped down my cheeks. He looked me in the eye and with nearly all trace of menace gone, he asked me almost tenderly, "You will help me, Cordelia, won't you?" He searched my face as a child begging for help might. He pleaded silently and his expression touched something inside me. I nodded. I would help him of my own volition, though I knew I had no hope of refusing even if I hadn't felt so strongly compelled to do for him. I was just becoming aware of his breath so close to me when he stroked my cheek once more and lingered a moment longer.

"Good," he added softly, happily, "Thank you, Cordelia. I knew I could count on you." I smiled stupidly up at him as he stood. "I have much to do, but I will return for you soon. You'll find I have ways to communicate with you when needed." He said. It was a strange, unnecessary warning.

I nodded and stood as he made a stride back to the mirror. He stepped back into it as easily as he had stepped out and I surprised us both by shooting a hand out and placing it on his arm just before it swung through. He stopped as I touched him and turned his head over his shoulder. Under a lowered brow and hooded lids, he smiled at me. All tenderness and blossoming affection for one moment and then a glimmer of triumphant menace that even as I recognized, I chose to ignore and immediately forget. I let my hand drop from his arm and ran it gently down the side of his cape, thumbing the fabric before letting go. And then he finished stepping through and was gone.

* * *

My legs carried me to my bed and I fell back. I was silent, motionless, and almost thoughtless. I stared up at the ceiling until I could no longer see the ceiling, only the visions in my head. A good deal of time later, my head lolled to the side and my eyes fell on my mirror. Loki, the God of Tricks, was just here, I thought, for me. I smiled and felt myself drift off to sleep.

I awoke later to Crixus pawing at my chin, meowing in annoyance. My eyes fluttered open and I swung my legs off the side of the bed. It was so bright I had to close my curtain as I made my way to the kitchen to fill Crixus' food and water dishes. When my eyes were finally accustomed to the light, I sat on the edge of the armchair and smiled, looking about my living room. It was exactly the same as always, but entirely different now that he had been here. I folded and wrung my hands over my lap, feeling like there was something I ought to be doing.

I sat awhile and wondered at every detail of Loki's visit. I wondered when, as he said, he'd return for me. I wondered what I'd do, but more so what I'd do until he did return. I wondered what Julie would think. _No_ , my mind yelled viciously, _no, don't tell her, don't tell anyone_. This was not something I wanted to share, not something I wanted to be made known. _Loki chose me,_ I thought, with the smallest chirp of pride. Loki chose me and I wanted to keep him to myself.

I stood then and went to my small closet and pulled out an armful of supplies. Paper, watercolors, and brushes were set up and I set to work. The colors bled lightly in cottony wisps. Gray and white as the mirror's surface, black velvety jet for his hair, those laughing eyes that I decided to color entirely beryl. When I finished Loki's face stared out at me, his expression somewhere between tenderness and possession. I left it out propped against the window sill pleased enough with the outcome. I looked at the clock and sighed as I went to wash my hands and dress for work. I was surprised that I had remembered work at all and I felt strange going to something as mundane as that after this strange even that I'd resolved to tell no one about. I dressed anyway and packed me purse and jewelry kit and refilled Crixus' water bowl before I left and skipped hurriedly down the stairs to the street.

When I reached the shop, I caught my reflection in the window. I had been grinning to myself in a secret way and when I saw my face I looked a little unlike myself. Same short, wavy hair, same large eyes and delicate features, but there was something in my eyes that changed my entire countenance. It was strange to not recognize myself. Too strange. I drew the corners of my mouth down and felt disgusted with myself.

* * *

Through my shift I seemed to do a good job of tempering my inner joy. And then Julie and another coworker asked if I was alright. "Yeah," I told them, "I just had a bad night's rest." I sighed at myself and realized that I probably need not make myself purposefully miserable. After some cleaning and ringing customers I was able to sit at the back counter with my kit. The mid-afternoon sun coming through the window relaxed me into a languid state and I closed my eyes for what must have been several minutes. _At least since I clocked in,_ I thought, _I haven't thought about Loki. Well, until just now,_ I finished laughing inwardly at myself.

I looked down and picked my tools up once more and stopped cold to see clearly what I had been working on: a polished stone, flat, but brilliant, smoother than river rocks and a deep mossy green. Round on the top, slightly tapering oblong on the bottom, I had wrapped it in silver bracketing just the top and bottom to let the brilliancy of the flecked stone show. The wire wrapped around it in a serpentine style and I knotted the top elaborately leaving a loop for a chain. It was beautiful, to be sure, but I knew that even subconsciously I had indeed been thinking of him. The thought frightened and thrilled me and as I picked up a chain to put my newly made pendant on, I felt a pressure at the side of my neck by my ear.

"A lovely design, even for Midgardian work."

Loki was beside me, but not entirely physically present. I guesses this is what he meant by his ways of communicating.

"Thank you." I replied softly, feeling unsure of myself.

"This one, I think," he picked up a chain from the box. It once held a very lovely antique locket that I had traded for an ungodly amount of assorted gemstones. I kept the chain because it was strong and real, guaranteed to add value to whatever dribble I strung on it. Loki slipped the pendant on himself and I finally managed to speak again.

"It's probably among my best. I bet it sells the moment I put it on display."

"No," he corrected, "It will please me to see you in my color." He fastened it around my neck, his fingers lingering purposefully on my skin. I relished it. My head turned to the small mirror at the end of the counter and I considered my new piece.

It fell just at the small crevice of my collarbone, the stone nestled lightly against me. The chain Loki picked held it surely and set it off nicely. From Loki's last lingering finger came a flow of blue that traveled around the length of the chain and the circumference of the stone, settling into it, imbuing it. I looked to him for explanation.

"For protection. And that I might more easily access you when I am so far away." His head turned at the sound of Julie's approaching footsteps. "Until next time, Dear Cordelia." And then he vanished.

"How pretty!" Julie exclaimed over my necklace. And then I smiled quite widely at my reflection.


	4. Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap, or, Labors Collected

**Chapter 3**

_Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap, or, Labors Collected_

* * *

 

Weeks passed before I heard from Loki again. It was fine at first as I’d assumed he’d be gone for some time. He didn’t seem like the regularly scheduled sort. I wondered often about what he was doing and when he’d return, but I went about my business as usual, if not without a new, slightly unimpressed outlook on the world. It was hard for anything to live up to the dark glory that was my god, but I managed decently well.

For the first time in my life, I began to feel especially social. I went out with Julie and Michael. I visited my Mom and Dad. I even went out by myself a few times, staying out just a little too late and taking streets that were just a little too risky. Upon arriving home, I’d breathe a sigh of relief, but smile inwardly at my newfound audacity. Crixus seemed lonely with me being gone for so long, but I’d stay up late painting or sketching with him in my lap or curled around my feet or neck and shoulders.

It was around the third week that I began having dreams. I was beginning to feel as if maybe Loki was never coming back. I’d dream of his face in a mirror that I couldn’t reach through and then the one mirror would turn into several, and the several into many. I would be left in a hall of mirrors completely bereft, all hopes of locating him gone with maddening swiftness. In other dreams, he would come for me, but lose me along the way. We’d be walking, or flying, or floating and I’d turn my head for a fraction of a second and turn back to find Loki gone. I’d search and yell, but he never returned for me and my surroundings faded into nothing, leaving me alone in a dimly lit circle.

But the seek-and-find themes were not the only dreams I had. There was a large portion of night visions that had little, if anything at all, to do with my unspoken fears. In these other dreams, Loki would come to me and take me. Sometimes brusquely with a snarl and dark eyes, bent on dominion over me, though there was never any question of it. He still delighted in frightening me at levels I hadn’t known existed before sealing the act in indescribable ecstasy. Other times he’d come to me with that endearing large-eyed, acceptance seeking expression. He was gentle then, but plied me expertly until I might have pledged my afterlife to him. Some dreams were strangely erotic; we would sit together and he leaned into my ear and whispered a language I couldn’t make sense of, but understood. As he spoke, the nearness of his lips to my earlobe, the steady heaving of his chest and his breath down my neck sent me into a trancelike state. I saw things, but not so much like visions, only what he showed me through words, and as I realized only after waking, magic.

They were all so excitingly real I’d wake up with a smile only to slowly slip into a dark state upon realizing that it hadn’t happened and Loki was likely never coming back. I’d spend the day in bed feeling haunted by the thought that Loki was probably not even real, but something my own warped mind made up out of desperation and loneliness. When I could eventually pull myself out of bed, I’d hide the pressing doubt and inexplicable sadness and go out seeking something to get into. It was during those nights that I’d feel him, or at least imagine I did, flirting with disaster without a second thought. I’d feel a breeze and imagine Loki was right behind me, pleased and smiling and acting as a barrier from harm. Every mirror I passed I glanced at, smiling darkly, simply and intuitively knowing that he _was_ still with me, even if he was not there.

It was in this state that Loki finally returned to me. I was in between giving up and holding out and, to my inner embarrassment, I was acting wretchedly to everyone. I spent the day of his return at work making no effort to conceal my unpleasant mood. Julie pulled me aside herself before leaving, demanding to know what my issue was.

“ _What_ is going on with you, Ms. Simon?”

“Nothing!” I snapped. I sighed sharply and repeated myself with only slightly less contempt. “Nothing.”

“It sure seems like _something_.” She pushed, with her eyebrows arched at me.

“I know. I know. I mean, nothing’s happened, I just . . . feel . . . I’m just. . .” I sighed in exasperation.

“I understand. We all have off days,” Julie cocked her head to the side, “But this has kind of been building up. For weeks you’ve been snapping at customers and the rest of the staff. It’s not like you.”

I tried to quickly think of an explanation to offer, but nothing I could say could possibly pass as genuine. Only a sincere apology would do.

“I’m sorry, Julie. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” I tried my best to look apologetic and confused, as I truly was.

“Why don’t you head home early? Go home -and I do mean _home,_ don’t go out anywhere- and rest or something?”

I nodded. My productivity was in the toilet as it was. Home was a good option. I finished what was left of the hour then packed my things. After a quick apology to my coworkers, I schlepped home and tried to not stew over the day. Several cabs passed me, but I opted to walk even though I had my full-sized and heavy jewelry case with me. I wasn’t in the mood to be confined with another soul, not matter how quiet or impersonal it may be, when my own was stomping around in a fit of rage.

* * *

 

By the time I climbed the stairs to my apartment, my legs ached and burned, but mentally I felt _almost_ better. I heard Crixus paw at the door as I turned my key in the lock and walked in. He meowed loudly as I entered and paced frantically. My gaze was on him as I tossed my keys on the table by the door and all but dropped my case and turned into the kitchen.

“What is it, Crixus Cat? You can’t be this hungry; I’m home early.” I said in confusion, my suspicions confirmed as I eyed his still half-full bowl. I shook my head and leaned down to pick him up as he skirted nervously around my feet. He slipped away from me as I rubbed behind his ear. I sighed at his strange behavior, but took a stride into the living room and as I looked up I finally saw the source of my calico’s distress. On my couch sat a figure of a man. My purse fell from my hand. I screamed shrilly and threw my hands back to my kitchen counter searching blindly for a knife or anything that could be used as a weapon. I fumbled and fell back, landing on my ass, and as the panic in me was beginning to rise to stratospheric levels the figure shifted ever so slightly and spoke.

“Forgotten me already, you dear, little jewel?”

It was Loki. My chest heaved as recognition dawned on me and I felt like crying. After a moment, I stood as Loki watched comfortably from my couch. He sat in the corner where the back cushion and armrest met, his long legs extended before him, one foot firmly on the floor, the other crossed over his knee creating a frame of space that my eyes lingered on for several seconds. As I looked up, I realized he wasn’t wearing his usual Asgardian leather and metal get-up, but instead a crisp button down shirt, the top two buttons left undone, and impossibly dark jeans, slim-fitted but relaxed just so. Somehow here in my living room, his legs crossed in a less-than-gentlemanly way, with his designer clothes worn so casually, he still looked elevated and regal. I took a deep breath and ran my hands down my shirt, straightening the wrinkles formed in my fall.

“Loki,” I finally managed, near breathlessly, “You’re back. You came back.” I looked at him in wonder and added in a whisper, “You’re here.”

“Of _course_.” He replied simply, the last syllable coming out in the smallest accented drawl, his lips in a perfect O, his forehead and brow furrowed in genuine assuagement.

I plucked my purse from the floor and let it plop on the counter. I wanted to bound over to him, to reach for him, but my curiosity kicked in and I found myself walking over to my front door, testing the lock. I glanced at the windows behind the couch and still saw nothing amiss. I walked slowly into the living room again and sat down in the chair opposite my couch.

“How did you,” I let my hands glide at chest level into a V shape, signing crudely for ‘in’, “get in?”

He laughed a throaty chuckle and raised his brows. “I came to you through a mirror. I have my ways.” He let his crossed leg down and sat forward, continuing as if he already knew my next question. He gestured shortly to his plain, but finely, clothed torso, “I’ll be staying here for awhile. We have some things to do. Yes, we. Your time to help is upon us.”

“So, you’ll be here in New York until whatever it is is done?”

“Yes. Here in New York. Here,” he extended a long arm, signifying the room, “With you, in New York.”

I inhaled and felt my lips spread into a smile.

“Of course,” I replied softly, mimicking his earlier statement.

I didn’t know how to move around my own home for the rest of the night. He stood and sat alternately and talked about what he had planned for me to do. I could do little more than nod and listen. He seemed to sense my inner confusion and was glad to offer me physical and verbal clues to move the evening along. After I had been listening to him for some time, my stomach growled surprisingly audibly and I felt a sudden pang of hunger. I glanced at the clock and paled to see that it was near eleven. I hadn’t eaten since around nine that morning. Loki smiled as if he was amused by my fragile mortality and stood.

“You’re overdue for nourishment,” he extended his arm towards the kitchen, as if excusing me, “It wouldn’t do for you to expire now.”

I smiled. “I didn’t realize how hungry I was.”

I stood and walked gladly into my kitchen and pulled items from my shelves with an automatic, urgent need. After I had finished the preparation and had several bites in me, I paused and stuck my head into the living room. Loki sat looking affably at home, yet still too regal to look fully integrated in my space.

“Do you need anything?” I grimaced, realizing I had no idea what a god ate or drank, or if they did at all, “I mean, can I fix anything for you?”

“Thank you, no.” he answered simply, smiling with his hands clapped over his lap.

I finished eating and cleared away my mess. As I came out of the kitchen I explained that I was going to get ready for bed. I closed my bedroom door behind me for the first time since I moved in and as soon as the latch clicked my heart began pumping furiously. I flushed red and put a hand over my mouth to keep from screaming. The full effect of Loki, Norse God in my home to _stay_ had just come over me. _What am I supposed to do?_ I thought violently. _What kind of manners does this call for?!_ The only other person to stay even a single night was Julie. I had few day guests. I didn’t know what kind of etiquette covered this and while I was always polite-but-not-a-strict-etiquette-straight-laced kind of girl, I was suddenly desperate for any sort of guidance or rule, no matter how vague or general. I took a moment and breathed deeply to calm myself then changed into pajamas (my nicest set, not threadbare and without holes or stains) and pulled an extra pillow, quilt, and sheet from my closet. I pulled my hair back and stepped into the living room again, my arms full of bedclothes.

* * *

 

“I’m not sure how much you need.” I admitted plainly, with surprising ease.

As I looked up I saw Loki standing in front of my shelves, staring squarely at the watercolor painting I had done of him. I blanched and cursed myself for leaving it out, feeling like a middle school-aged girl getting caught with her first name doodled with her crushes last name inside a notebook. I put the load in my arms down on the couch and walked to where he stood, my mind drawing blanks instead of explanations.

“You did this?” Loki asked, knowing the answer already.

“Yes.”

“It’s a likeness,” he nodded seemingly pleased and genuine in compliment, though he added nothing else.

Shortly after we found ourselves sitting again and Crixus came out of his hiding spot to curl up in my lap. He was still uneasy. I was still uneasy. But the nearness to the familiar, especially that of a dear creature comrade, was comforting. Loki kept his place on the couch which was normally where I sat, but I had no desire to say so. He had been vague about what we were to do before and so I found enough courage to inquire further.

“So, to recap, what exactly do I have to do tomorrow evening?”

“You’re going to a party.”

“A birthday party? A wedding party?” I found words coming with more ease now. I felt almost unnaturally comfortable with Loki, but I didn’t entertain the thought of what was unnatural about it.

“A corporate party.” He said, the word ‘corporate’ coming out with an infinitesimal hint of uncertainty. The word must have felt strangely Midgardian to him. “To celebrate the milestone of mass production of a product.”

This was not the answer I expected, though I wasn’t sure what answer I would have expected. “Oh. Well, what am I supposed to do there?”

“I’ll need you to talk with someone. Possibly several individuals. You’ll be serving as my ears and, should my suspicions prove correct, my cover.”

My eyes widened.

“Don’t fret. You’re in absolutely no danger. No one shall see me. No one, except you, shall be aware of me.”

I nodded. “What corporation? Whose party is it?”

“Stark Industries.”

I nearly spit my drink into the air. “As in _Anthony Stark_ Stark Industries?!”

“Is there another?” he replied coolly, moving on with ease, “You’ll be speaking to Mr. Stark himself. You’ll find it quite easy; I’ll be able to guide you from a safe distance.”

The rest of the conversation went in a blur, though it was short. My mind was reeling at the mention of Stark Industries and how I’d be not-so-subtly infiltrating it in some strange way although I had no idea what Loki planned to do. When I glanced at the clock again, it was near three in the morning.

“You’re tired.” Loki announced.

“No,” I began, a yawn escaping my mouth. “Yes.”

And then Loki walked toward me and leaned over me, sending Crixus padding softly off to my bedroom. “You aren’t expected at your employer’s shop tomorrow, so you’ll be able to sleep in.”

I suddenly felt my eyelids grow heavy. My limbs felt like I had been submerged in warm milk. I was tired, but this was a delicious, dozing feeling that would be more typical after an afternoon on a blanket in the sun, or a massage. I found myself again not questioning it and then suddenly Loki’s arms were on me. He lifted me easily and carried me to my bed.

“Sleep now, and trust I’ll have everything taken care of. Rest well, Cordelia.”

I felt the blanket being pulled over me and then I felt nothing but the comfort of sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies! I know I'm making you wait. It hasn't been intentional. My muse packed up and went on holiday for awhile, but is now finally back. Just a short note, where Loki calls Delia a 'dear, little jewel' this is a reference to her the meaning of her name. Cordelia has roots in Latin, meaning warm-hearted, and in Welsh, meaning sea jewel. This will come into play some time from now. Tiny spoiler? Maybe, but I thought it might be a fun little gift of a hint since you all have waited so patiently. :3
> 
> Enjoy and let me know what you think!


	5. Gate Crashing in Couture

**Inverted Reflections**

**Chapter 4**

_Gate Crashing in Couture_

 

It was nearly noon when I finally opened my eyes. I looked around my room, just the same as always, except the bedroom door was still closed. _So, it’s not a dream this time_ , I thought, _Loki really is here._ I stretched and pulled the blanket off of my body. I couldn’t remember the last time that I had felt so rested after waking up. I sat up slowly and planted my feet on the ground and then scanned the room for Crixus. He would have typically woken me long before now if I hadn’t been up already, but now he was nowhere in sight. I stood and straightened my disheveled hair and, supposing there was little I could do without the beauty products located in my bathroom, walked to my door and opened it gingerly.

My eyes first fell on the couch. I could not tell whether or not Loki had slept on it, though the pile of bedclothes was on the side opposite of where I left it. I hear the sound of light smacking and found Crixus in the kitchen eating. Upon inspecting his bowl, I noticed it was not his usual bagged cat food, but cat-sized morsels of fresh fish _. I haven’t bought fish in months,_ I thought, _I don’t think I’ve ever bought fish._ I stared down at my cat, eating and purring contentedly, in confusion. With a slight shake of my head, I turned heel and walked back into the living room. One set of curtains were open and the light filtered in softly. I stood in the rectangle of warmth the window created and for a fraction of a second forgot myself (and Loki) in the simple pleasure until the soft click of a door latch jarred my memory. I started at the sound, holding my hand at my collar bone, and watched as Loki exited my bathroom.

“Midgardian baths are decidedly pragmatic.” He said in way of greeting.  He was wearing fresh clothes, this time a slim-fitted suit, blacker than black, cut with precise, expert angles. I realized then that he managed to look so different, yet exactly the same, every time I saw him. The close fit of the suit made him look thin (still lithe and beautiful) in the way that you’d not think to be intimidated by on the street, but the slightest glance at his face and you’d feel unsettled and ill at ease. His complexion was deathly pale, but seemed to radiate. His eyes flickered with delightful, dark knowledge as always. Near him I looked so sad in my slept in pajamas, but he had left me little other choice.

I chuckled in a throaty and uncertain way that came out halfway before I clamped my mouth shut and flushed red at the embarrassing sound that just escaped me _. Now is the perfect time to sound like a moose on helium, Delia, try it again_ , I silently mocked myself. I cleared my throat.

“Not all are. People with bigger apartments or houses, and sizable bank account balances, have nicer bathrooms.” I quickly changed the subject. “Did you feed my cat?”

“Yes. I have a certain kinship with these creatures.” Loki said, enigmatically.

“And the fish?” I ventured after a moment, but as he began to wave his hand in explanation, I realized I already understood. “Your _ways_ , of course.”

He nodded and grinned deviously.

“I have several matters to attend to,” he began, slipping his jacket on, “You’re to remain here until I return.”

The command seemed to smack my very nature and independent sensibilities. I could practically feel my pride smarting.

“I had nothing else to do today, so I guess it will work out that way.” I replied, pointedly. Immediately the air in my apartment felt charged and a sense of having made a mistake rolled over me.

Loki looked down on me for a fraction of a second, then pulled back and smiled. “Fantastic.”

He had said enough to get his point across and he knew it. I felt sheepish looking back up at him. A few moments later, he left, disappearing in front of me and I walked to the window wondering why he couldn’t have walked down the stairs like everyone else. I peered out at the street and as I looked down I was surprised to see him reappear on the sidewalk just below my window. He looked up at me, smiled again, and inclined his head toward me. I sunk into my couch as he turned heel and headed down the street.

 

After he had gone, I spent the afternoon primping. I showered and then had a bath. I waxed and exfoliated and moisturized. Like it or no, I was going to an A-List event that evening and since I wasn’t actually on anyone’s list, I ought to look the part. When I had done all that I could, I slipped on a short night gown and my kimono-style silk robe. It had been a gift from my mother and it was so luxurious that I had only worn it a handful of times. Perhaps I was being overly cautious, but I couldn’t bear the thought of ruining it. But it felt right to wear then, as buffed and scrubbed and glowing as I was. So I sat on my couch with my legs extended, a book in my lap and my television’s remote control in my hand and alternated my attention between the two. It had grown dim outside when Loki reappeared with a black garment bag draped over his arms and two smaller shopping bags in his hand. He hung the garment bag on my bedroom door and set the smaller bags several feet away on my desk.

He acknowledged me only after his hands were empty, as if it were the most natural thing in the world to have materialized in the middle of a room without so much as a by-your-leave.

“You appear refreshed.”

“I am. Thank you.” I found myself carefully masking any tone of derision.

“Well, come then. I have something for you.” Loki smiled holding his hands at chest level, palms together, his long fingers intertwined ever so slightly. His silent excitement was impossible to resist. When I reached his side, he unzipped the garment bag in one long, fluid motion to reveal a dress lovelier than any I’d ever seen.

“For tonight.” he announced pulling it from the bag.

“I have dresses, Loki.” I said absentmindedly while I inspected the gown, too giddy to mean it.

“None like this.”

_How would you know? I guess you’ve been in my closet, too._ I thought with a hint of acid that I chose not to entertain further. “It’s beautiful. It’s amazing.”

And it was lovely. It was deep blue, somewhere between navy and midnight, one-shouldered with a sweetheart neckline. The fabric was a semi-sheer crushed lace that was pulled in on one side of the waist from the top at the opposite bust and the bottom from across the opposite hip creating a nipped effect and puddled ever so slightly at the bottom. Loki interrupted my fawning to remind me of the time and sent me into my room with the gown and an extra box containing the proper underpinnings.

 I wondered at how he seemed to know not only my exact size, but what went under Midgardian ladies formal wear. I envisioned him gracefully hunched over a counter, asking in a frighteningly serious way where he might find the women’s under things and the chic sales associate pointing to the opposite side of the room with wide eyes. I laughed aloud at the conjured picture and hurried to dress myself, the afternoon spent dreading the party and ridiculous task all but forgotten. The dress showed every bit of my body to advantage. It draped and clung just where it should, showcasing my figure with an ease I was not used to. When I stepped out of my room, Loki grinned openly, pleased with the sight of me and certainly with his own choices he knew would work.   

“My, um, zipper. Could you?” I asked turning and looking over my shoulder. He finished off the length I couldn’t manage on my own without a word, but with his face hovering just over my bare neck and shoulder. I flushed bright red. He backed away.

“It suits you as well as I thought it would.”

“Thank you. For the dress, I mean. You didn’t have to. I had something I could have made work.”

“Mmm.” He nodded, still grinning wickedly.

I was then given a pair of strappy high-heeled sandals and medium-sized diamond drop earrings with a matching bracelet. And then Loki waved his hand in front of my face and when I turned around my hair was fixed and my face was flawlessly covered. My hair was pinned away from my face and neck, up but loose and romantic. My make up was the epitome of naturally unnatural glamour. I reached  
up and pulled the smallest tendril of hair at my hair line down. Loki corrected it immediately.

“Loki, God of Cosmetology.” I pronounced with unconcealed surprise.

Finally I was given an invitation that bore my name. I didn’t question how it came to be; whether it was forged from an existing invitation or if Loki conjured it himself mattered not at that point. He spent a few moments explaining what precisely I needed to do. I was to mingle and spot Anthony Stark as soon as I could manage and then position myself near him. Loki could help guide me, he said, I wouldn’t have anything to worry about and would find the evening as easy as though I were with my most familiar friends. I felt inclined to trust it to be true, especially seeing as how I had little to no choice to do otherwise. I knew that although I had told Loki I would help of my own volition that I had no hope of refusing now or at any other point. It excited me as much as it shook my soul.

“There’s a car waiting for you on the street. All will be well. You’ve nothing to worry about.”

I bid him goodbye and made my way to the door. I stopped one last time in front of the small mirror above the table in the entryway and plucked the tendril of hair out once more. As I opened the door, Loki called to me one last time.

“Oh, Cordelia?” he met my eyes directly “You do look ravishing.”

I walked down the stairs blushing and left my building. A sleek, black car waited for me on the curb and its uniformed driver quickly stepped out and opened the door for me. I slid into the backseat feeling positively thrilled.

* * *

 

I don’t know what I had expected when the car rolled gently in front of Stark Tower. There were people in small groups all smiling and laughing and touching each other’s arms lightly with pseudo-familiarity. Uniformed staff of various positions stood at the ready to assist party goers or their higher ups. Several photographers stalked up and down the entrance, moving with preternatural speed at any opportunity. The car door was opened and a hand was offered to me. I took it graciously and stepped out of the car. In an instant there was a camera in absurdly close proximity to my face. I paled in an instant, smiled out of awkward uncertainty, heard clicks and yelling, and watched as actual human heads appeared from behind the camera to thank me and move on. I felt my stomach drop as I truly realized I had not been invited and was not prepared for this. _What am I supposed to do now_ , I wondered helplessly.  

I suddenly felt a sense of calm come over me like a warm blanket. I seemed to know what came next and felt my legs carry me up the carpeted steps to the front door. Only when I was halted at the door did I snap out of it. Two men stood before me, one tall with muscles hidden under a tailored jacket and a shorter one, impeccably dressed and coifed and holding a clipboard.

“We’re so sorry for the inconvenience, ma’am, but might I have your name?” the shorter man asked, his face staring into mine, earnestly apologetic.

“My name? Simon. Cordelia Simon.” I answered and heard my voice come out more confident than I felt inside. I was quivering. I had an invitation. Why were they suddenly taking names at the door?

The man turned his face down to his clipboard and began flipping through papers. I looked up to the taller man who stood silently with his broad arms crossed over his chest. _Calm down, He-Man, you don’t have to make a point to me_ , I thought meeting his gaze politely. The shorter man looked up.

“I’m terribly sorry. You see, we’ve had a slight problem occur with our records just hours ago.” He turned his head back down and flipped through another set of pages, trying to hide his frustration and embarrassment.

“Is anything the matter?” I asked.

“No! No, no, it’s just an unexpected error on our part,” he scanned through a last sheet and just as I was growing nervous, he exclaimed “Ah! Here you are, Ms. Simon! Do forgive us and please enjoy yourself this evening.”

I thanked him, picked up the edge of my skirt ever so slightly, nodded at the taller man who held the door open for me, and walked in. I was greeted by dim light, low voices, and shining surfaces. All the guests were made up exquisitely and I realized that even if I had worn the best dress in my closet, I would have looked fine but slightly shabby next to everyone. Inwardly I thanked Loki for his forethought. Men and women with trays worked through the crowd with natural, professional ease and as one passed my way, I took a glass of champagne from the proffered tray.

I looked around and just as I began to wonder where I needed to fit in, I noticed a commotion at the opposite end of the room. A large set of double doors were opened and we were asked file in accordingly. I walked toward the crowd at the doors and happened to catch my reflection in the shining pane of glass from a frame on the wall. I watched my eyebrows furrow as I noticed the tendril of hair I had pulled loose twice now had been inexplicably fixed. I pulled it out again, knowing that Loki would see me do so and not caring, and then set off to the open doors.

Inside we were greeted by several people, none of whom I recognized, and finally Anthony Stark himself. I knew enough of him from the news and paper, though I never had a reason to wonder anymore about him. He was more handsome in person than he was in his pictures and I suddenly felt a bit of warmth in my cheeks when I remembered that I’d have to speak with him later, per Loki’s instructions. Mr. Stark welcomed us all and thanked us for coming, made a joke or two, and after a short word of thanks and appreciation, implored us to enjoy the evening, and stepped off the stage. The music came back in, low and pleasing, and the crowds who knew each other took no time in beginning to mingle.

I found myself in several conversations as I worked my way around the room. I had no problem chatting on about things I knew nothing of and I knew I had Loki to thank for it. I could feel his influence over me and was in the smallest way glad for it. Crowds and parties normally made me feel socially awkward, but tonight I commanded attention in a soft and genuine way. Those I met all seemed convinced that I was a valid guest and distant friend or acquaintance to all. Soon I spotted Mr. Stark within walking distance and I felt my blood go cold. I moved as slowly as I dared in his direction, keeping an eye on him discreetly. I watched him as he talked to other guests and found myself smiling when he smiled.

“Oh, this is your type, Cordelia? Don’t fawn too much, dear. You’ll make me terribly jealous.” Loki’s voice suddenly crooned in my head.

“I’m not fawning.” I replied, though I realized that maybe I was.

“Don’t jump. There are more eyes on you than you realize tonight.” Loki purred. He was right of course, but he had only said so to make me squirm inwardly. He chuckled as he sensed my discomfort. “Now’s your chance, Cordelia. Go to him. No need to fret; I’m here with you.”

* * *

 

Mr. Stark’s back was turned to me as I approached and I was thankful that for just a moment I didn’t have to exude anything resembling confidence, no matter how comfortable Loki could make me feel. He turned quickly as he must have sensed my presence and offered his hand in greeting as naturally as he might have to an old friend. I held my hand out to his, thinking he meant to shake it, but he took it gently by my fingers and brought it to his lips, leaving a small kiss on my hand. It was all at once absolutely silly and charming. I cracked a smile and spoke.

“Good evening, Mr. Stark.”

“Who’s Mr. Stark? Tony, Ms. . .” he paused for a second and then smiled childishly at me, “You’ll have to forgive me. I can’t seem to recall your name.”

I smiled widely. He had all my forgiveness as I knew for certain he had no reason to know my name at all. “You’re forgiven.” I answered simply, sweetly, “Simon. Cordelia Simon.”

Tony responded with a small laugh and I replied, though I realized I couldn’t hear clearly what was being said by either of us. I felt my mouth move and my hands gesticulate, but I wasn’t entirely aware of the conversation. Just as I was beginning to freak out, Loki’s voice was back in my head again.

“My, you really are fawning. I never imagined you’d be taken in by _this_ sort of man. Now keep him talking and I’ll work the information I need out of him. And try to keep from throwing yourself at him, if you can.” He was mocking me, I realized. His tone left me angry and I felt my cheeks grow bright red as my hearing came back to normal.

“Are you alright?” Tony Stark looked at me, holding his hand out cautiously.

“Yes. I’m fine, I just felt a little . . . fatigued.” I answered as best I could. He looked up and gestured to a nearby waiter who appeared with a tray. I took one of the small, skewered meatballs gladly and a napkin. Tony took an extra one before the waiter left and offered it to me.

“You’d better have another. I think letting your guests expire at your party is one of those hosting no-nos.”

“Well, it might be considered so, but it’s just my opinion that it isn’t a real party until you have one or two fainters.” I answered, feeling my confidence return. He laughed genuinely.

I found myself engaged with Mr. Stark for a rather long time. Some of it I was entirely in control, and at other parts I felt Loki creep into my mind, muffling all sound to me while ensuring I was still speaking convincingly. I had no idea what Loki was gleaning from the encounter, but it must have been something fairly significant as I felt my senses dulled for quite some time at one point. I could feel Loki withdraw from my mind and I then began to notice that others around us were growing impatient for the host’s attention. We were soon saying farewell to each other and an associate of Mr. Stark’s came along, tugging at his arm to remind him of some business he had to attend to. He thanked me for my conversation and for coming and apologized for having to leave. I bid him goodbye graciously and thanked him for having me. _A lying, gate crashing hussy_ , I added silently to myself.

I watched him until he was entirely out of sight and smiled. As I turned to walk away, Loki’s voice was purring in my mind. I didn’t jump this time.

“Well done, Cordelia. You may stay out a bit longer and enjoy yourself.”

In response, I grabbed a fresh glass of champagne and swallowed it in one large gulp. Loki chuckled at my display.

“Come home coherent, do you understand?” he added.

I looked up into the sheen of the glass wall and saw Loki’s face in my reflection.

“Of course.” I answered. I turned and went back into the crowd.

The hour grew later and later and I noticed the crowd considerably thinned. My feet began to complain at me and I decided it was time to get back home. I walked out and saw the same car I came in waiting for me. A valet jumped up to open the door for me and I slid in, glad for the respite. When we reached my building, the driver wished me a good evening and I walked upstairs with my heels in my hand.

Once inside, I walked directly to my room feeling even more exhausted than an evening out should have warranted. My head ached slightly. I crawled onto my bed, still in my dress and makeup, on top of the covers and closed my eyes. The only thought I had before falling asleep was that I couldn’t feel Loki in my head now and I felt something akin to disappointment.

 


	6. Mischief, Malady, Misinterpreted Tokens, and Our First Kiss

**Inverted Reflections**

**Chapter 5**

_Mischief, Malady, Misinterpreted Tokens, and Our First Kiss_

* * *

Loki did not return for several days. When I awoke, groggy, yet still giddy, in my now wrinkled dress, I simply assumed he would be standing just outside my bedroom door waiting to praise me for a job well done. When I exited my room and didn't see him anywhere, I was perplexed, but there was an ache in my head severe enough to make me forget about it quickly enough. I peeled myself out of that gorgeous dress and hung it on its hanger, plucked the heels up from where I kicked them off and set them down together, and then walked to the kitchen to scoop Crixus some fresh food and water and swallow an aspirin myself.

I walked to the bathroom and smiled lazily at the reflection that greeted me in the mirror. I still wore the light, but deceptively supportive under things, and my hair was mussed, framing my face softly, romantically.  _I look like a high class prostitute_ , I thought with a grin,  _or a romance novel cover. Maybe both._ I undressed, unpinned my hair, and ran the bath, thinking of nothing else as I sunk into the hot water and bubbles.

My headache eventually subsided and in its place I found myself feeling especially, inexplicably weak. I spent the day in bed alternately flipping through a magazine and napping. Sometime later when I resurfaced to fix myself lunch and took it to my room, Crixus joined me taking his usual spot on the pillow beside mine. It was so quiet and comfortable that I didn't think about my unexpected fatigue, but lazily, happily let the day pass. I didn't even spare another thought about Loki until much later as I phoned an order of take-out for dinner. The smallest thought in that moment hit me with a force and I was suddenly anxious about it. As if I had done something I shouldn't have or neglected something that was supposed to be done. My mental list ran through, only interrupted by the buzz from the door. I took my food into the kitchen and ate standing over the counter.  _I did exactly what he wanted me to do, exactly as he asked. No, told me_ , I told myself,  _there's nothing to worry about_.

I spent the rest of the night actively ignoring my distress. It proved to be an easy enough task, aside from the strange feeling of emptiness in my head that persisted even after the exhaustion from earlier wore off. I wondered if maybe I had had too much champagne to drink the night before, but I really hadn't.  _Maybe a bit more than I normally would have_ , I admitted,  _but not enough to warrant all this._  When it finally became apparent that the feeling was not going away, I decided it was time to go to sleep. I turned off the lights and TV and found myself casting a hopeful glance behind me, in my large mirror. When I realized what, no, who I was looking for, I stomped to my room, fuming as I set my alarm. I rolled over and fell asleep quickly, not from fatigue, but from sheer force of will.

My alarm woke me with such a start that I slapped it off the bedside table. After picking it up and muting the jarring music, I went directly to the bathroom. For one short moment, I was extremely glad Loki was not around to see the sight of me. My day at work was an early and long one, so I was determined to not give him another thought.  _Let him disappear_ , I thought with a bravado that shocked even me,  _as if anyone could or would stop him_. I dressed and left in a non-huffy huff.

Minutes later I was slipping my key into the lock at work and that horrid, inexplicable feeling in my head hit me again. I sighed, flipped the 'open' sign, opened the register and set my kit up. In fifteen short minutes, I was in retail hell. Eleven long hours later, Julie and I dragged our tired bodies out of the shop. As tired as we were, we headed straight for our favorite bar. The bartender greeted us with her friendly, familiar smile and sent us our usual order and we both sat silently, eyes shut, until we were two sips in.

"Slap me twice and call me Sally, that was  _insane_." Julie said, deadpan, drink in hand, looking absolutely bedraggled. I glanced at my own reflection in the window and saw I looked no better. Another pulse rang through my head and I shivered, but I was not having it _. No strange feelings, or voices, or thoughts tonight, dammit,_ I thought. I took a deep swallow of my drink, and another, and another until the sound of Julie's voice snapped my attention back.

"Delia? Delia. Del-i-a!"

I swallowed suddenly and the whiskey burned my throat. I smiled sheepishly. "Just ready to put today behind me."

And that's exactly what we did. We left feeling mostly numb, but a little bit silly and I waved Julie off in her cab and set off down the street toward home. I wasn't any more than three blocks away from my building, but a half hour later I looked up in confusion. As I swiveled around, feeling quite intensely sober, I looked aghast at the unfamiliar street that surrounded me. I turned and hurried back the way I came, feeling anxious and nearly frightened. I quickened my pace and ignored the people casting stares of confusion at me. One woman, maybe five or six years my elder, looked especially concerned, going so far as to match my pace and ask if I needed any help.

"No!" I unintentionally screamed. "No, thank you. I just got turned around." My voice and manner were entirely unconvincing. "Thanks." I left her looking confused and worried in the dim light of an old marquee.

After I had put a considerable distance between myself and the unfamiliar neighborhood, I forced myself to slow down and breathe. I realized then that I hadn't gone into entirely unknown territory.  _Of course I've been out that way before_ , I thought calmly,  _just not so often at night_. I couldn't explain where the sheer panic that overcame me came from.

Just as I was beginning to know where I was, another pain came. This one rocked me to the point of stumbling, leaving me against a brick wall with my head in my hands, whining out loud. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a taxi roll down the street and I ignored the pain and jumped out to hail it. I slid in the backseat, clutching my head, and practically shouted my address at the driver.

"You sure, lady? That's hardly even five minutes from here." He asked.

"Yes! I'm sure. Just can't…walk anymore."

"Alright, alright," his tone was softer now, "Don't worry, I'll get you home."

The car rolled gently to a stop and I dug through my bag, fishing out a twenty dollar bill. I dropped it through the partition and the driver opened his mouth in objection."

"No, please take it." I cut him off. "Thank you."

I pulled myself up the stairs to my building and once inside my apartment, I collapsed on my couch and didn't move until morning.

* * *

Three days after that, Loki returned acting as if he had hardly been gone an afternoon. He offered no excuse and I did not ask, though I knew he would not have divulged the true answer to me even if I had. He finally took a moment to consider me in the late morning sun.

"You look positively undone, Cordelia."

"Oh, do I?" I asked, making no attempt to hide my biting, sarcastic tone. I watched Loki's face light with surprise and delight at my outburst. His shoulders pulled back ever so slightly and he watched me in near mocking amusement. "I've had a pretty bad week, Loki. The worst."

I turned my attention back to the sketchpad that sat on my lap and just when I thought that he might let it drop, he leaned forward, smiling wolfishly.

"Oh, but I missed you too, dear thing."

In an instant, I flushed bright hot red. From anger, from embarrassment, from desperation. I stood up, flung my sketchpad to the floor and walked to my room, slapping the door closed behind me. Before I had a moment to think, Loki appeared in front of me. I pursed my lips and looked at him in my room, amongst my more treasured things. I heard my mind telling me  _he fits_  before I shook my head in frustration. He sighed and took a step toward me.

"You're upset." He stated.  _Oh, that's the least of it_ , I thought.

"I'm upset." I confirmed. He took my hand and pulled me to the bed, where I sat on the edge. He sat beside me just barely out of reach, close but too far to lean against. My face was level with his chest, a seeming wall of a thing, so long and lean. I couldn't bear to look up, though I covertly breathed him in. Even his  _smell_  was intoxicating.

"Has something happened?" I stole a glance then and his face was haughtily innocent. And convincingly so, because I then felt my anger begin to subside in the tiniest increments.

"Something…Something with my head, Loki. Something's not right. You were inside it the night of the party and since then it's not right." I took a breath and continued "And then you weren't there in the morning and I went about my day and work and I went out and I kept feeling anxious and," now I was verging on hysterical, but I kept talking, "I panicked on the street, at night, a half hour from my home and I don't even know how I ended up there and after that it didn't get any better. My thoughts are all loose and disjointed and I don't want to do anything but sleep and it hurts to think too much and you were inside my head and this all happened and you hadn't come back. What is happening to me, Loki? Why didn't you come back and fi—" I stopped there. I was getting worked up and I wasn't sure I wanted to say aloud the last question I posed to him, but I already practically had. "Fix me." I finished lamely.

Loki touched my shoulder, pushed my hair back from my face and ran his hand down my cheek.

"You were  _magnificent_  at the party. You were absolutely enchanting. I know it must have been confusing for you, speaking without hearing, but there was no other way. It can be hard to give yourself to my powers in this way, the first time is especially daunting on an untested mind, but you handled it  _tremendously_  well. Better even than I expected." His voice was soft and soothing, but warm with praise. "I have many tasks to attend to, I'm sure I explained as much."

I found myself nodding. He smiled at me.

"But I am  _beside_  myself now that I hear of your acute distress. There are certainly side effects from the magic I use to see and hear through you, but surely the pendant I gifted you alleviated the worst of it."

My hand went to my neck. It was bare. I hadn't worn the necklace ( _that I made_ , I thought,  _and you enchanted, not gifted_ ) in days, since he took it off my neck in preparation for the party.

"I haven't worn it. I didn't know it would. . ." my voice trailed off.

Loki waved his hand and conjured the necklace and fastened it around my neck. "I told you it would keep you safe, yes?"

"Something like that, I think."  _Hadn't he?_

"It's not just to be in communication with you, but to counter the ill effects and safeguard you. I thought I explained. You should wear it always and know that I am with you even when I am gone away."

"Oh."

He then took me by my shoulders and straightened my back, placed a finger under my chin and pulled my face up to look into his. He was leaning over me, staring down at me with adoration and care in his eyes.

"Now then, are we all better?"

I nodded and felt my lips spread into the tiniest smile.  _Much better_ , I thought.

"Now come, dress quickly. I have something I want you to see."

And so I dressed. I slipped on a rosy pink, sheer, button up blouse with a high-low hem and a plain white camisole underneath and jeans. I was worried that Loki's necklace ( _as it may as well be dubbed now,_  I thought) would clash with it, but it nestled just under the collar, unseen. Maybe it seemed strange to be worried about clothing and accessory coordination when I was now in cahoots with the Trickster God, but I held onto it and other thoughts like it for fear of losing all sense of normalcy. I think even then I felt myself bending in compliance with more ease with each passing moment. Though I ignored it, the mental image of a softened, sun-warm piece of taffy came to me. I slipped into a pair of short, black boots and walked out of my bedroom. Loki sat waiting for me, long legs crossed, arms spanning the length of the couch. I was surprised to see him in new clothes when he appeared only minutes before in a suit that was new to my eyes. He was now dressed down in as much as I could expect him to be. Instead of his usual dark, impeccable suits he wore a white, long-sleeved shirt, thin and soft, a small V etched out at the neck line. He paired it with black pants that I realized after a second glance were leather and boots oddly similar to mine, though more masculine. His hair was pulled back into a small knot at the nape of his neck. I watched him with wide eyes as he stood, taking in all six plus feet of him.  _He could put any high fashion male model to shame,_  I thought,  _they would not stand a chance_.

We then walked together out the door, down the stairs, and onto the street. The man who magically transported himself directly out of my window, who just minutes ago apparated an entire ten feet into my bedroom. It was so ridiculous; I couldn't hold back a laugh.

"Yes?" he inquired, with a smile.

"You. Walking. I was beginning to think you just floated around magically everywhere you needed to go."

"Oh, Cordelia Ann, sometimes a walk suits me." He smiled at me and I felt such a sense of familiarity and homecoming. "This way, little jewel." He pointed left.

Sometime later we were far past the busy in-and-out streets, seeing a flat warehouse roof rise in the distance. We stopped at an outer gate and I looked at him questioningly.

"This will be your next assignment. Later tonight, in fact."

"Should we be here now then?"

"No one else is here. Well, no one that will cause us any concern. I wanted you to be familiar with it before I sent you off. I'll guide you, of course, but I won't need to take over completely."

I nodded as if I understood.

"You'll take a cab and have the driver drop you off a few blocks from here. You'll be on foot from there and come round the far side of the building here," he gestured with his hand, "and wait for word from me, when I can see the best way in for you."

I thought of asking what I would be doing once inside, but I decided against it. There was one question I couldn't shake however. "Why do you need  _me_  to go in for you? I mean, can't you do that sort of thing without risking being seen at all?"

"Certainly, but what waits in that warehouse may be guarded against powers like mine. They could not hope to catch or contain me, but I'd rather not reveal myself just yet. That will come soon enough," he paused and I watched a dark expression cross through his eyes, "And then they will all know their God, Loki."

He fell silent then and seemed to be lost in thought. "At any rate, they won't have any wards against mortals. You'll slip in and out, unknown and unseen."

* * *

And that was how I found myself dressed in all black after dark, in a cab headed towards the outskirts of the city. The walk on foot was familiar enough and I walked around the long side where Loki had indicated before without a problem. There were no guards or traps. I crept silently alongside a wall until I came to a window, covered in a thick mat of dust and I shivered slightly when I felt a stirring under my shirt. Loki's pendant seemed to vibrate against me so very softly and I stopped and pressed my hand to it. Loki's voice filled my mind.

"Follow this wall until you come to a set of stairs."

I padded softly straight down for what seemed like a long distance, but in the dark a set of stairs appeared just as he said.

"Descend them, and turn left just inside the door."

I went in, holding the old, rusty door steady as it slid shut behind me. I turned and found myself in a large room, empty except for a pair of chairs in the center sitting just outside a large circle painted on the floor. The light filtering in through the dusty windows glinted off of the reflective white and as my eyes adjusted I saw it was not just a circle, but a circle encompassing a symbol of sorts _. Like those old Norse runes I saw on the internet_ , I thought to myself.

"Precisely." Came Loki's voice in my mind again. I jumped slightly. "Do you see that ladder there? Climb it, and quickly."

I shimmied up it and just as I pulled myself onto the ledge above, I heard voices and footsteps and laid flat on my stomach and waited for Loki's instructions. What came instead, as I should have expected, was that muffled feeling like at the party. I could hear the voices of the men who entered the room, but not precisely understand them. After several minutes, I gave up trying and stayed there still and quiet. Loki left my mind gingerly and my hearing came back in time to hear clearly the dragging of chairs and handshakes and farewells. Several moments later when the room was empty, Loki's necklace vibrated again and he told me to climb down and leave the way I came, a cab would be waiting for me at the end of the main warehouse drive.

I returned home to only my cat, but before the hour was out, Loki stood over my bed where I was lying in the dark, not precisely on the verge of sleep, but not precisely alert. Without a word, he bent down on one knee and leaned over me. His face hovered above me, catching the moonlight, his lips just centimeters from mine. I exhaled deeply and then I felt him on me.

His tongue gently separated my lips, searching for mine which greeted him enthusiastically. His mouth was flush against mine and he kissed me deeply. I felt one arm reach under my head cradling it to him and the other snaked slowly up the side of my thigh and stomach, between my breasts, to my cheek. An eternity later, he pulled away and lowered my head softly back to my pillow.

"Sleep well, sweet Cordelia. I shall return to you soon."


	7. Me: Through the Looking Glass, Down the Drain

**Chapter 6**

_Me: Through the Looking Glass, Down the Drain_

* * *

After that night, I let any remaining fight in me drift away to some tiny pocket of my soul. Any questions I had, I left unasked. Any discomfort I felt, I let Loki soothe away in the manner only he could. To say that I was completely willing was not entirely true, I kept telling myself, but I later realized (to my deep shame) that blind acceptance was no less complicit than howling an emphatic yes, yes, yes. It was all happening whether I liked it or not. And I was beginning to like it.

It seemed that everyone I knew saw the difference in me immediately after I gave in. I laughed easier, and was quick to smile at the misfortune of others. I felt excited for no clear reason and my thought process became chaotic. I still felt mostly like myself, but quite uninhibited to nearly the point of unhinged. I felt close to Loki and believed he felt something for me. He showered me with all the affection and reassurance I needed. It felt genuine; there was no trickery involved. He still loved to tease me, and sometimes ruthlessly so. Occasionally it seemed like his love teetered between adoration and possession. It wasn't just that I was his now, but rather a piece of him to use like he would an arm, or that I belonged inside of him performing some silent, involuntary service like the heart or lungs.

We were very soon lovers after our kiss. His lovemaking swung like a pendulum between tender and wild. He enjoyed pleasing me as much as he enjoyed seeing me on my knees, my chest bent to the floor at his feet, or resting against his legs like a pet, looking up at him imploringly for his mercy, love, acceptance, and release. One of his favorite ways, however, was to drive me absolutely insane with need. He would corner me silently, wrapping his arms around me as though I'd walked into a trap I hadn't known had been laid. I had finally learned to recognize (always seconds too late) the eerie, preternatural anti-noise quiet Loki could put on, but I never grew used to it. Ignoring my fright, he soon had me naked, shivering in anticipation, on my back. He remained tender until I was in that comfortable lull he could put me into and as soon as the chill of him sneaking up on me melted away, as soon as I sighed softly in delight and let my eyes close and roll back, the air around us shifted. I opened my eyes and looked into his and in an instant realized I was now in bed with the Trickster.

He pushed away, smiling widely at me. "Did you know that they call me Loki Silvertongue?"

Before I could answer, he knelt down and bowed his head between my legs. What followed was unbearable.

Loki quickly brought me to the very brink of orgasm. It was no hard feat for him ever. But just as I could feel the wave of pleasure ready to crest inside me and my breath catch in my throat, he stopped. I gasped in disbelief and tried to speak, but only a half-hearted whine came out. Loki looked up at me with that big, wolfish grin plastered on his face.

"You see?" he asked with faux innocence, "Silver. Tongue."

"Yes, I see." I answered breathlessly, ignoring his devious, pointed enunciation, "But why did you stop?"

In lieu of an answer, I felt Loki's midnight hair brush against my thighs again, an erotic sensation of its own, and buttery moans replaced my words. My delight was, again, short-lived. He stopped like before. I grunted in frustration.

"Oh my god, Loki! I get it. Silvertongue. Now please?"

"Oooh. Say that again." His voice had dropped an octave.

"What?" the exasperation in my voice was evident, "'Please'?"

"Oh, no. No, no…" he whispered, slinking back up, his face now level with mine, "Call me. Your. God."

I looked at him incredulously. "My god?" _Was he serious_ , I wondered. _Literal Norse god status? Like a god to be worshiped?_

"With _conviction_ , Cordelia!" he demanded, pressing into me.

His hand trailed down my chest and stomach between us to my pelvis where his long fingers slinked down and slipped into me. I flushed bright red in embarrassment. The request was ridiculous. I mean, I had called other partners all sorts of things. Some things they wanted to hear, other things I wanted to say, but 'god' was really pushing it. Loki's fingers circled my clit. I couldn't think straight.

He kept rubbing and insisting in my ear, "Say it, Cordelia. Say it."

He nestled his head in the crook of my neck and dragged his teeth across the delicate skin, snaked his tongue around my earlobe. He used his other hand to knead my breasts softly and tease at my nipples. My mind was preoccupied with his demands and I threw my head to the side in frustration, but soon I couldn't deny the pleasure any longer. My head rolled back center and I watched Loki through the tiny slit in my eyes. He studied my face, grinning and waiting. My breath hitched and I felt a tiny bead of sweat roll down the side of my forehead. Cohesive thought left me and I opened my mouth to speak.

"Oh, Loki. My god. . ."

"Yeees! Again, Cordelia, again!" His command was an erotic growl.

"Loki, m-," I was interrupted by the introduction of Loki's mouth around my right nipple, "My GOD!"

Any lingering hesitance melted away then and I performed just as he wanted and, beyond that, how I wanted. Suddenly nothing seemed to matter but the wonderful sensations he gave me and voicing my devotion to him. The last thing I saw before I shut my eyes again was his face looking so pleased with me, proud even. My eyes closed, I heard myself murmuring 'Loki, my god, my god' in a soft repetitive chant, behind my eyelids everything began to glow white hot. _Yes, oh Loki, yes,_ my mind screamed. My toes curled in anticipation and my hips pushed against his hand; it was only a fraction of an instant away now. My mouth opened wide in a moan, ready to call to Loki one last time.

And then he stopped.

"Hhhnnngh!" I cried in frustration, pounding at his shoulders with my fists.

He threw his head part-way back and laughed.

"I'm sorry!" he said, still laughing, "Oh, Cordelia, stop. I'm so sorry. That was perfect. You were beautiful and I promise you'll have your release soon. You were just so wonderful. . . I have to see you so undone again. You can't expect that I'd be ready to be done with you after you called to me so lovingly, with such devotion."

He rolled gently to lie beside me and pulled my head against him, petting my hair gently. An ache of want rolled through me. When he thought I was sufficiently calmed, he pushed himself off the bed. I watched him through the corner of my eye as his shirt slowly vanished and then his trousers. I sat up on my elbows then to take the sight of him in, long and lean in slim-fitting black briefs that were also vanished away just moments after. I sat up further, ignoring the dull ache inside me, watching Loki walk back toward the bed, toward me. His expression was softened now around his brow. My eyes traveled below his waist where his penis stood erect. Forgetting my frustration, I reached out for him and he came to me.

When he pulled away from me just short of orgasm once again, I was hardly surprised. I sighed against his chest and clung to him, beginning to think that perhaps he wanted something more out of me before I was allowed release. He only kept promising that it would be soon while he coaxed more and more desire out of me. No matter the ache I felt, he always managed to get that rise out of me until finally, after he halted my pleasure countless times to my addled mind, I clutched him to me and my shoulders shook with wracking sobs.

"Perfection, Cordelia. See? You might have been hesitant to worship me properly at first, but you gave yourself to it so well. I hadn't expected you to go so far, last so long…and for that, I shall reward you."

I didn't dare reply. I was too scared he was building me up for naught again. But I was eventually delighting in the physical, though it took slightly longer this time, even for Loki, (as human bodies do have their limits, he told me some time later), and approaching ecstasy. I steeled myself for the cut off, but this time it never came.

Loki and I came together then. He moaned low in my ear and whispered something in another language while gripping me almost possessively. My vision went white again and I heard nothing else but the sound of my own pulse in my ears.

* * *

In this and other ways, he drew worship and devotion out of me. I already held him in a state of veneration, but it was never in me to genuflect to anything or one. But Loki taught me; Loki brought it out of me and nurtured it and I soon felt like I was meant to always look up at him, to be under him. It went to my head in no time and when he took me out, I was so pleased to be by his side that I felt sorry for everyone who passed because they weren't. Loki would look and see the pride and budding superiority in my face and smile. I would look up at him and see fondness and triumphant accomplishment.

I went out for him two and three times a week then. It was always the same as the party and warehouse. I would go where he told me and he would direct me. If I had to speak with anyone, he would speak through me. When the sensitive information began to flow, he muffled my senses. It was only to keep me safe, he said, so I could remain ignorant, and by default innocent, of the situation. There were occasions I would come home and go to bed and when I got back up in the morning I would hear on the news about strange occurrences around the city: minor thefts with no video evidence of the thief when there were cameras up, cases of arson, some minor, another in a private database. _Strange_ , I thought, _but the world is now_. And then I would forget about it and go to work. Loki made sure I kept up my regular schedule even on days where I would have rather not. Unless he had business (that he never named), he was with me in the evenings. And in that time he showed me things.

He took me to secret places within the city. I hadn't ever thought there was anywhere in New York that hadn't been inhabited by someone at some point, but he showed me parks empty for so long they were overgrown and home to wildlife, back alleys that were so untraveled there was a sticky layer of dirt and grime on the ground below. He also took me out of the city to the tops of tree lines in the darkest forests he could find to show me the stars. Far away and high above all of the light pollution, the sight was astounding. One that many New Yorkers never see, as they think there's no reason to leave the city.

"There," he pointed with one arm, holding me steady with the other, "That's the direction you'd follow to get to Asgard. Midgardian spacecraft could never hope to travel there, of course, but that's the way."

He had never spoken of his home before. I stole a glance at him in surprise.

"Is there really a rainbow bridge? That connects Asgard to Earth?"

"Rainbo—Oh, you mean the Bifrost," he looked mildly amused, "Yes, it's there, though currently broken."

"Broken?"

"At the hands of my would-be brother."

"And Asgard Proper- is it really the Shining City? The Golden Realm?" I asked, quoting what I had read previously on the internet.

"Quite. Large, imposing, golden. Splendid from a distance or to a stranger, but I know it differently."

"And you're a Prince there?"

"Rightful King." He corrected me harshly and his grip tightened around me.

"Rightful King." I echoed in a whisper. His grip loosened.

From then on, I never asked about his family or home unless he brought it up. I filed my questions away mentally and waited for the rare opportunity to inquire safely.

* * *

Upon returning from that particular night of stargazing, I saw him a bit less than I normally would. The following week I went to no less than four strange locales under his guidance, each one harder to recover from than the last. He seemed to use more effort into making me unaware of my actions than usual and it took its toll on my mind. Julie noticed when I began coming to work late and failed to call to cancel dinner one evening with her and Michael.

"And it's more than that," she railed at me, "You don't answer your phone. You're acting so unlike yourself it's beyond comprehension. When you do come in, you look like you've been God knows where! Haven't you listened to the news? All those burglaries and fires? It's more dangerous than normal out there, Delia."

I stared at her; her outburst seemed to come from nowhere. I had no clue that she had been this upset, but instead of explaining, I suddenly found myself on the defensive.

"Julie, just stop. I'm sorry you're so mad that I haven't been all wrapped up in your store like always, but you really need to back off."

"You think THAT is what I'm angry about? Is that what you think? Oh my gosh, Delia, that could not be more laughable."

"Well, ha-fucking-ha-ha, I think it's hilarious!"

"Delia, stop!" her cry was not so much a yell, but a plea, "I am worried about you!"

"Well, no one needs to worry about me. He's all the protection I need." _SHIT!_ I screamed in my head, _just leave now before you say anything else_. I picked my things up and turned for the door.

"He? He, Delia?" she shook her head, "I don't even know what you're talking about, but you're not telling me something. You're acting different, you're dressing different—you haven't taken that damn necklace off in weeks and I've seen the contents of your jewelry box at home—you're keeping secrets and I am worried about you."

I looked back to see her eyes brimming with tears. _Oh, shit, Julie no_ , I pleaded silently, _What have I done?_ She stared at me silently and I suddenly felt a calm come over me. It was not my own, I knew immediately, but Loki.

" _Tell her you're sorry and that you'll promise to talk to her later."_ He whispered in my mind, _"Tell her, Cordelia, and then come straight back home."_

"Julie, I…I'm sorry. I am. I'm sorry." She turned her eyes away from me, "I'll talk to you later, OK? I promise."

I knew there was no sense in waiting for a reply. She didn't know what to say and I didn't know what I could have possibly said in reply. I pushed the door open, walked out, and went home. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a black car with tinted windows that looked like it was following me. The thought only occupied my mind for a moment as I turned quickly down one street and then the next. As I reached my building, there was another black car whose driver or passenger I was certain was watching me. I ignored it still and ran upstairs. I couldn't stay still when I got in, so I paced. Crixus watched me nervously and after several minutes began pacing as well. Julie's words kept repeating in my mind. I must have been acting differently. Julie never flipped on anyone like that. And obviously I wasn't telling her quite a bit, but I couldn't tell anyone. My hand touched my neck. I knew I had worn Loki's beryl necklace since he put it back on me, not even removing it in the shower, but I also couldn't take it off _. Am I dressing differently?_ I wondered. I walked to the bathroom and pulled out the tall, wicker hamper.

I pulled each item of clothing out separately and laid out everything from the week I had worn. I sat back in shock at noticing the difference. I used to make it a point to have a different look nearly every day. I had my favorite pieces, of course, but I loved all the options my closet held for me. Assembled on the floor were five variations of the same look and I knew I had been repeating it for some time now. Darker colors, slimmer fits, intimidating heels or boots, details at the shoulder to seem more imposing. I was dressing like him. Or like how I thought he wanted me to. I backed away from the pile and went to my mirror.

I studied my reflection carefully. I looked ever so slightly gaunter, though I hadn't lost any weight. My hair, normally voluminous and wavy, sat slightly heavier on my head, framing my face harshly. My eyes stared back at me and I was unsettled to see their color was darker. Hazel still, but no tone they ever reflected before. My mouth turned down and I suddenly saw myself times two.

There was my normal reflection on top, white-washed glowing hair, upturned nose, happy eyes, and on bottom flipped to show the reverse like a playing card, me again, colored like a photo negative and smiling deviously. I backed away on the verge of tears and bumped into something solid. Loki.

I turned into him, burying my face against his chest, and began to cry. "Loki, what's happened to me? What am I?"

"Cordelia Ann," he intoned deeply, "You've known all along what you are."

I looked up at him, sniffing.

"Mine."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Block Monster has been on my tail lately! I'm so sorry for the delay. Forgives?
> 
> We're starting to get thick now! Stay tuned!
> 
> Thank you, as always, for reading. PLEASE let me know what you think! Comments/reviews are love and SO VERY HELPFUL!
> 
> Kisses,  
> Katekate


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